I'm so sick, you guys. And being sick exacerbates my chronic loneliness. I want a hug. Why am I single? If I was not single and far away from my family there would be a person around to hug me and bring me soup. I'm rolling around in bed right now, softly moaning: help me, heeellllp meee to the cieling. I AM GOING TO DIE ALONE.

I called my sister and she told me that, excluding medical complications, no one ever died from a cold before. Well she'll have egg on her face tomorrow when she wakes up to find me dead of a cold with complications from a broken heart!