Earlier this week, I went to the Patient First for a bug bite. It hadn’t gotten better and I wanted someone to look at it.

Patient First is a walk-in clinic that’s better equipped than your average emergency clinic. They have more equipment, a better referral system, and you can get most of your generics in house. In general, I love them.

One nice thing is that they give you little slips of paper about your condition and what you should do to treat it before you leave. They’re pretty specific, and I like the fact that I can refer to them later.

The doctor looked me over, looked at the bite, then prescribed some antibiotics. She told me to come back in three days if the affected area got any bigger. This was literally the extent of my examination.

She came back with my drugs and my slips, which I put in my purse. Back at the house, I pulled out the slips and started looking through them. Bug bite info, soaking instruction, cellulitis description, drug info, high BMI slip.

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*record scratch*

It wasn’t just a slip saying “Hey, we think your BMI is high, come talk to us if you want” (which would be shitty in and of itself). It was instructions. “Lose 10% of your current weight. Eat 500 fewer calories a day. Exercise more. Lose at least one pound a week. Come back in one month, three months, and six months.”

Remember, the doctor asked me NO QUESTIONS about my diet, my background, how much I exercise, or any medical issues beyond allergies to meds. Nada. I was given generic instructions without a single conversation.

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So, I’m putting together a response to their PR. I already have my “BMI is Bullshit” bullet point, but I would love some more fodder as to why they should NEVER hand someone this sort of slip without even a conversation.