Picture from Paul Blart for no reason.

OK. I'm having midlife crisis #12 and existential crisis #39.

I just had a job interview in New Orleans. I actually lived in New Orleans briefly in the 90's, and moved because I had lots of unrelated issues and depression and I just couldn't stick. But it's always had a place in my heart. My parents lived there before I was born and we vacationed there when I was a kid.

So. I moved from Chicago to Current City a couple years ago for a job. I have been selectively looking for another job in my field all along because Current City kinda sucks and I basically knew when I took this job (my first out of grad school) that it was just a starting place for me. My experiences there have borne this out. I've grown a ton, learned a shitload, gotten better and more confident in what I do, but I don't love it here. If I loved Current City I could absolutely make it work, but I'm miserable here.

Ok. They haven't offered me the job or anything, so this is all theoretical. But I'm kinda really conflicted. One one hand, the job interview was SUPER unprofessional! Like just mind-blowingly not how things are done. The pay is shit. Like they told me salary flat out would be $40k, which is a huge pay cut for me. The offices are crummy. The furniture is old and clunky and hideous. Housing in NOLA is meanwhile twice what I pay here, and I have big fat student loans that I'll be paying til I die. I'm in my mid 40's, BTW.

However!! Despite the pay cut, the weird, unprofessional colleagues, the expensive housing. I kinda want to take the job, if offered. Am I insane? I'd have fewer benefits than I do now. But also a large chunk of my job - the part I hate - would disappear. So I'd be doing only the parts I like best but for a lot less dough.

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Meanwhile, a lot of my job search had been, until now, focused on trying to find work closer to my dad. He recently passed away, and I have no husband, boyfriend, kids, and no other family I'm that close to. So I feel weirdly unanchored. Completely free. Terrifying, and exhilarating.

Your thoughts?

ETA Paul Blart! Kinja ate him the first time!