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Help me decide to spend my money (or not)

For the last week I’ve been obsessed with a simple question: should I buy a new laptop and which, and this question has too many facets for me to explore and it’s driving me insane. I need help making a decision and who better than the GT hivemind? :D

The options:

1. I buy a Macbook Air 2018 at roughly 1850 and try it out to see if it’s good enough.


2. I buy a Macbook Pro 2018 at roughly 2350.

3. I wait and buy nothing.

The situation:

I am currently working on the laptop I borrowed from boobieguy some two years ago. It’s a 2012 macbook pro and most of the time it serves me perfectly well. I use it for your every day browsing, but also for design & illustration work. But since I’m still in recovering from burnout-mode, I don’t use it for much more than 2-4 hours a day. I want to start making money again (I did some small jobs in 2018 and saved up about 2k) but I don’t expect that to become a full-time gig anytime soon, since too much screen time still gives me headaches. A few weeks ago a friend and I decided to start a youtube channel. Just chatting about our lives as freelance illustrators but with a camera there. It’s something I’ve been thinking about doing for months now, almost all last year, but since I have no camera and my phone can’t really save longer video’s, it wasn’t something I pursued. The past week I’ve been editing the first video we made and it’s just.. not great. Trying to align the audio & video is an exercise in patience as the image frames drop after about 3 frames and I have that time to figure out if the audio is going right or not. So I export little pieces of vid, check, go back & change, export.. You see my point. It’s pretty much unworkable. Lately it’s started getting some issues too(suddenly no longer starting up) and I’m worried it’s starting to go.


Which leads me to my current situation! Should I buy a new one now? I’ve been entirely unimpressed with the Pro line since 2015 and I don’t really want one. Although I expect this years release to bring with it some great changes. The Air on the other hand I DO want, the extra design improvements and all recycled materials? Yum. Talk to me green apple, you know I love it when you get more eco-conscious. Part of this is just me not wanting to spend thousands on a piece of hardware that makes me feel any less than “Holy shit it’s so shiny I LOVE IT” which is how I’ve felt about every other piece of hardware I’ve ever bought (even the cheap stuff).

On the other hand. Shouldn’t I buy the BEST specs? Shouldn’t I be buying for the future? I’ll get more mileage out of a pro I’m sure. On the other hand, why does everyone always need the ultra-most-best-specs? It feels greedy to me. Will the Air not suit me just fine especially since I use it less than half as often as a professional might? Or am I shooting myself in the foot by buying it? (I had an air before and used it as a student and professional for 3 years. Even though it got super slow at the end, it worked.)


Part of what makes me overthink this is the whole psychological thing. You always read shit about how people don’t start becoming successful or whatever until they fully invest into it. Is this giving myself a psychological nudge that I’m _not_ a pro? Am I just being a childish idiot by wanting a gold laptop? (Grey is seriously the WORST colour. It’s not a colour. I hate that they haven’t updated that design in forever ugh.)

As you can see, I’m going crazy here!

I could just wait it out.. See if I can find some more small jobs that suit me (anyone looking for a logo, illustration, design work of the digital variety? heh..) and work on that and leave the idea of making video’s behind until I have a laptop that I can use (or do it on my boyfriends pro when he is home, but that doesn’t really inspire a healthy ‘working’ rhythm and isn’t so good for my burnoutness..). Maybe it was just a whim anyway? So should that influence me at all?


What option should I pick? What would you do? Halp! 😬

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