Ok, so I actually, literally walked into a motherfucking door this morning. Our back hallway is kinda cramped, and it's sort of remarkable I haven't done such a thing before. I whacked my shoulder pretty good on the fucking thing, and now I'm definitely, visibly favoring that arm. But I can't TELL PEOPLE I walked into a door! They'll think Mr. MacNasty beats me and I'm using the oldest, lamest cover-up in the world!

So what lie should I tell instead? Shark wrestling? Sprained my shoulder playing too much GTA 5? Cat juggling? WHAT?