So I found out that they no longer require a Facebook account and I downloaded Tinder and Bumble, which is Tinder except men can’t send messages, I guess (also Bumble requires you to write to your ‘matches’ within 24 hours and the chances of me wanting to look at a dating app every 24 hours are nil, so it’s basically useless). I also downloaded OKCupid for good measure. I have not done online dating except OKCupid and I never had the app on my phone before. I deleted OKC when they made it so you couldn’t see your new messages unless you had already liked the person’s profile.

And so my big issue with the apps is that I don’t understand how messaging works (I mean I understand how it technically works, but I don’t understand how to engage with other humans via messaging on a dating app). Is it supposed to be like IM, or like email? Am I supposed to type more than 3 sentences on my tiny phone touchscreen? Am I supposed to write someone back right away? Am I supposed to basically engage in small talk with a total stranger via message? How often should I be checking for messages? How do you guys do it?

I also don’t understand why the profiles are so short. How am I supposed to decide if I want to message someone based on two sentences they wrote about themselves?

Help. Or share your online dating stories, good or bad.