Edit: SPARKLING WINE SUCCESS! I am now finally relaxing, like I should be, with my goat cheese, strawberries, sparkling wine, and book. Thank you, Missy Pants! Pushing up on the bottom of the cork with my thumbs loosened it enough that I could open it with my kitchen glove. You are my hero! Thank you to everyone else for handy tips for the future and moral support.

Tonight is supposed to be all about self-care. I got a facial (my skin is glowing!) and stopped by the grocery store for cheese, strawberries, and sparkling wine. A nice little night to relax and focus on me.


How am I supposed to relax if I can't open my sparkling wine?! I've tried holding the bottle in a towel and the cork in a towel and gently twisting. Then not-so-gently twisting. I tried gripping it with my kitchen gloves and twisting. NOTHING WORKS. All the tutorials online are identical, or involve breaking the glass. I just want to remove this damned cork and treat myself.