1. The errors you think are so ‘shocking’ and ‘embarrassing’ are not errors at all, but just examples of AP Style, which is a thing you, as a person who ‘knows a lot about the newspaper business,' and as an 'educated former journalism teacher' should probably know at least a teeny little bit about.
  2. No, there actually is no one here to copy edit for us. We barely have money to keep the fucking lights on in this place, much less hire actual fucking human beings and pay them a real salary to do something as nichey as copy editor. If we did hire a copy editor, she’d probably be too fucking busy doing nine other jobs besides the one she was hired for—much like rest of us—and probably wouldn't have time to do the actual job she was hired for anyway. Much like the rest of us.
  3. No one is ‘paying us millions of dollars’ to do a story on the city renaming some stupid street in your rinkydink town. I cannot believe I even had to type this. Please, for the love of God, see number 2.

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I have not even gotten to the email from the racist who thinks that 'bitch named Shaqueefa is probably lying.' There is no story in our archives about anyone named Shaqueefa. I am privileged enough to know this because my news assistant, (who himself is acting as our photographer, sound editor, receptionist, faith-healer and pretty much every other job around here) actually went and searched our archives for that name. At some point, this college-educated, relatively bright, investigative journalist in training saw that name and went to Google it.

"I don't think that's the right name," he said, totally proud of himself. Like fucking Bob Woodward up in here and shit.

BRB have 2 go spend millions of dollars in street-sign payoff money.