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Here's the thing about toilets.

At my office, we have a lovely bathroom with not one, not two, but three individual toilet stalls. There's also a fake plant for ambiance, nearly a liter of cookie scented soap, and quite a bit of storage for flyers and the like. It's really all you could ever dream of in an office bathroom.

For reasons that have only ever been explained to me as "because" whenever any one of my fine upstanding (downsquatting) coworkers visits these facilities, he or she locks the main door. Not the stall dooor. The main door.


And again I say: what.

Is your urine of such scope that you will need to fill all three toilets, sprinting from one to the next like a nightmare porcelain obstacle course? Does every person in this entire office suffer from such crippling claustrophobia that not a single one of you can bear the confines of a latched stall door? Are you embezzling the cookie soap, living in terror of the day you'll get caught siphoning it directly from the pump and spiriting it off to be sold on the bath & body black market?


When we go out to lunch no one has the audacity to lockout the entire restaurant from the bathroom, yet when I suggested a strange dystopian future where more than one person could pee simultaneously (or even out of sync) (and definitely out of sink) suddenly I'm the weird one.

tl;dr: hurry up, I need to pee

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