I had two dudes pursuing me in the wake of my break up, and I need them both to fuck off. Please reassure me that I'm not a bitch.

Dude 1 is someone I dated for a month or so 4 years ago. I'm friends with his brother and he set us up. We slept together once, and I later found out it was his first time (he was 28 at the time). It fizzled, and we didn't speak much after that. He moved to London last year, I helped him out with an Oyster card/sim, then didn't speak to him again.

Then, last month, he needed a place to stay so I offered my air mattress. He was present on the night my parents spent hours berating me and my boyfriend dumped my ass, and I decided I had to go back to my home country.

The next night, my flatmate lost the fucking plot. He attacked me, then attacked this guy, then shut me in a room for an hour and screamed at me in Italian while I sobbed. The cops were called, the flatmate was escorted off the property, and I went to go stay with a friend.

So this guy drops me off at my friend's place, and we make plans to see a movie before I left. When I had to cancel due to sickness, I get this:


Yep. Out of fucking nowhere. Then he showed up at my door, asked me to wait for him, and tried to kiss me.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. My life just fell apart in front of you, and you decide now is a good time to tell me that you've been in love with me for years? Nope. Not my problem. Keep it to yourself.


Dude 2 is... *drumroll* the crazy flatmate!!!

Turns out he freaked out because he thought I was boning dude 1, and had been crushing on me since he moved in. So, because women have no agency, he assumed that I'd "become his" after my boyfriend dumped me. He started bombarding me with messages after the attack, professing his love and asking me to come home. His English skills are super limited, so it was mostly in giant smiley form.


Yes, crazy dude, I am afraid of you because you physically assaulted me and then basically held me prisoner until the cops showed up to rescue me. Also, you think Mussolini was the best thing to happen to Italy, you fucking maniac. We are not going to prance off into the sunset together. Go away.


Both of these guys are assholes right? I'm right to have blocked both of them after telling them to fuck off and leave me alone, RIGHT?!

Please reassure me that I'm not the bad guy here. I've been raised to be painfully polite to everyone and this is the first time I've properly stood up for myself.