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Hey! The world did not blow up this week, y’all! Let’s celebrate with cocktails and the Daily Dump.

PS That's my typical expectation of a Friday night, above. You don't want to see the gif of my actual Friday nights... You're welcome to provide suggestions for such a gif in the comments, though.

JoyFlower asked for our assistance with some heart-break – feel better, JoyFlower!

Meanwhile, some exciting GoT news from our beloved Penabler.

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This game is STILL TEARING ME APART, NAPSAUCE!!

Let us all offer sympathy to Feistlab for dealing with an asshole cat.

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Paranoid_Shiksa_Feminista gave us all eye-rolling fuel with an Anthony Weiner magazine cover.

That will be MISS Kyosuke from now on, thankyouverymuch. We’re so happy for you!

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Playing hard to get? BlueAlaskan ain’t never had time for that nonsense.

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Fat-Shaming continues to be an issue, according to Beliah.

You wanna know what goop to put on your hair? Thanks to Lady Rainicorn, here are some possibilities.

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This seriously needs to be a regular feature: Idiocy on OkCupid. Thanks, Doit2julia!

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Fluterdale, you’re drunk, er, I mean, cat-addicted. Go home. (Kidding. We love you. You know this.)

Tyrannasaurusbataar continues to be told to “Get off my lawn!” by grumpy old-splainers.

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Olive Garden forced Burt Reynolds is my Spirit Guide to keep an internal observation log.

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SHAKESPEARE. My cold English-Teacher-Heart rejoices. Nice catch, Zap Rowsdower.