... I was wondering how old everyone is? Because sometimes, I feel OLD, and I don't know if I know how to be 36. Am I middle aged? Am I young? I don't know, and it occupies my mind far more than I suspect it should.

I'm graduating as an RN in a few months, which makes me a baby nurse.

But before this, I ran my own editing business. I have Arts degrees. I have an almost 16 year old, and a mortgage, which makes me a mum and a grown up.

But I am in the process of finishing my half sleeve tattoo, daydream about things like what piercings I would like to get, and am in love with Snapchat.

But then I care about things like how the washing is folded, and my bathroom reno (which is getting the screen installed today woot!).


I look at other people and try to gauge how well I am adulting, and mostly don't feel like I am doing it right. But then at the same time I can feel past it, and like it's too late for 'cool' - that 'cool' isn't something I should even care about anymore. I'm supposed to care about comfort, or 'style' not awesomesauce. And probably shouldn't use words like awesomesauce either way, but that's besides the point.

Is this a midlife crisis? I hope not, as my mother had one and it devastated my family. Plus, it seems a little early. Maybe I'm precocious? Manpants had one about 5 years ago now (he's 43), which resulted in a very-not-fun affair. I don't THINK I'd be so destructive, but I'm sure they didn't mean to be either.


Then there's my weight. I spent most of my life so far at a healthy weight, but the last 10 years? I've been obese more than not. I catch my reflection and I don't recognise myself. I don't need to do that test where they paint a red dot on my face to see if I notice - I know it's me, but it doesn't look like me-me, y'know? I'm making progress towards the healthier end of the spectrum, but it feels like maybe it's too late to be 'cool' (attractive), and I've missed that boat.

Bleargh. Anyhoos, how old are you? Do you feel your inside matches your outside? And how to you reconcile those two? And - back to me - what does 36 look like to you?


EDIT: Thanks guys! Nice to hear so many of you have no idea what you are doing either :)