"$850,000 budget."β€” that is too much money!

"Must-have bathroom renovation"β€” your bathroom is fine! It's cool! I like it! You can shower and poop and pee in it and brush your teeth. Spend your money elsewhere! Unless it looks like this bathroom:

"We can't live like this anymore"β€” I WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT! Come live where I live, you would probably spontaneously combust.

"I want hardwood floors throughout"β€” yeah, and I want a tiger with a dog's brain to cuddle with and walk around the block. We all have dreams!


"Whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaat are these cabinets?" β€”Is... is this a rhetorical question? They're cabinets. What did you expect?

"Uh-oh, REALITY CHECKβ€” you need to gut this kitchen"β€” is it infested with rats, cockroaches or communists? Black mold? Do the cabinets not hold things, the stove and oven won't cook and the sink spews out diarrhea? Say it with me: You. Are. Fine.


And then they use their bags of money to go buy the ugliest thing in the entire universe. Why do I obsessively watch this channel?


(this gif applies to the people buying/working on these houses as well as me, for watching this self-abusive shite)