That title is only partly facetious.

So my blood pressure spikes to like 170-something over 110 while at my doctor's appointment the other day. Apparently that is some BAD SHIT, y'all. So my doc, alarmed, ordered me to cut back on salt, drink a fuck ton of water, walk more and take a blood pressure pill. She also used the phrase, "You could stroke out," which, jesus, lady, did you have to make it sound like a weird dance move from the 70's? She also ordered a sonogram of my kidneys and a slew of blood tests.

I am trying to make this as humorous as possible in my normal coping manner, but I really am kind of scared. I'm usually healthy as all GET OUT, like weirdly so. I've always had zero problems with blood pressure, cholesterol, et al. Now I have this very real, possibly serious thing to worry about and I don't even want to bitch about it because, hey, high blood pressure is hardly like fucking cancer or something.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'd like some gifs, plz. The fuzzier the better. Thanks. I really do love you guys.