I'm normally pretty high strung. Like, wound up and ready to burst. I tend to control things, and I get anxious and fixated on little things that don't mean much in the long run. It's going to be one of those weekends, where I have to suck it up and have fun. And I hope I can.

So I'm having friends down for the weekend. No biggie, I love them, and it's nice to see them. They drove down, and got in rather late. Again, no biggie. We're going to do some cool stuff today. I'm looking forward to shopping!

Here's where the uptight and anxious parts of me come in: I'm going to their gig tonight. Downtown. Hopefully with my other friend (calming influence). But, and I've expressed this before, I'm really not a night person and I'm afraid of what I can't control. I've never really been 'downtown' (I have no idea where it is...), I don't know what the scene is, how I'm going to get home if I want to bail (taxi, duh...but how much money to bring?). I'm tired as fuck and I'm obsessing over a gig that has no bearing on my future and shouldn't be bothering me. And it's not for hours. And hours. Seriously, it's at night. I'm up at 6:30am.

It's the control aspect of the whole thing. I'm just not spontaneous. I'm reserved. It sucks, and I'm working on it-as in relinquishing control, because being the 'uptight friend' gets me a lot of crap. And I'm trying to calm down. Thinking about taking a walk to grab coffee. Just writing this out makes me feel better. A lot better.

Also, this may be the only time I should listen to Ramona Singer: