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Bumping for the afternoon crowd. So in a little over a week I'm putting up my twenty translations of the poem Wulf and Eadwacer up for the shredding. Among those twenty translations will be one into Old Norse and one into Spanish. I'd like some feedback on the Spanish, if you don't mind, because I'm wanting to make sure I can capture as much range from the Old English as I can.

So I'm going to give you guys the Spanish, along with some notes on where I found myself having trouble as well as explaining a couple choices.


Wulf y Eadwacer

Tal don es a mi pueblo ulama
Y le lidiarán si con tropa viene.
Es impropio de nosotros.
Wulf está en la isla, y yo la otra.
Segura es la isla con ciénaga rodeada.
Son hombres feroces en esa isla
Y le lidiarán si con tropa viene.
Es impropio de nosotros.
Era acosada por ideas de los viajes de mi Wulf
Durante la lluvia cuando me quedaba sentada en miseria,
Cuando el campeón valiente me tomó en sus brazos.
Para mí era placer, aún era odioso también.
¡Wulf, mi Wulf! Ideas de ti me
Había enfermado, le hacían mi corazón a llorar;
Tu ausencia y no la hambruna.
¿Oís, Eadwacer? Wulf carga
Nuestro infelicito al bosque.
Que se divide fácilmente nunca unía
Nuestro canto juntos.


Okay. First question - are there any points where my Spanish comes across as obviously non-native (aside from the playing with and vos forms, which I'll get to in a bit)? How about a few of my word choices. Does obsequio fit, or is there a better word I could use to connote a gift without using regalo (sounds too present-exchangey for the tone I want). What about ideas - the Old English has wen, which wraps up thoughts, hopes, and dreams all together - is there something I'm not thinking of that might better approach that trifecta? Regarding infeliz I just really want to be sure I used the correct form of the diminutive there. Should I translate the names, or should I leave them as is? If so, how would you go about translating Eadwacer (treasure watcher)? Lastly, I suck massively at remembering when my participles can and cannot be declined for gender. Is Era acosada correct, or does the era mean I have to leave it undeclined as acosado? If that happens, are there any spots where I could recover the explicit femininity of the speaker?

Some notes:

I'm using ulama to translate OE lac here because lac carries a sense of sport or game as well as that of sacrifice, and ulama is descended from the Meso-American ball game (the one with the sacrifices).


On using both and vos forms, I decided I wanted this to play just a little to the age of the poem. So the familiar and the more distanced vos, which I think help make a little more obvious in the Spanish what is only implication in the Old English due to the simple singular þu.

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