My name is Matt, and I have mayonnaise issues. When I was in elementary school, I read the Judy Blume book Superfudge, in which one character expresses his aversion to mayonnaise: "It's too gooey," he says. "And besides, it can make you sick." Already averse to gooey things, I was sold—no mayo for me! For decades, I didn't touch the stuff, would throw away fast-food burgers that some mindless dolt had smeared with the gooey, sick-making slime. But then, somewhere along the way, I tasted it…and liked it. Except, I still don't officially like it. I will never consciously choose to put it on anything (except a BLT, of course), but if it's there, hm… this stuff is actually kind good! It's just too bad I Don't Like It™. —Matt Gross, editor,…

Perhaps don't make fun of fast food workers in a nationally published magazine? Yeah sure, not exactly your target audience, but calling people who work in that industry "mindless dolts" it's extremely insensitive and snobby.

ETA: Yes sure, I understand that it was probably written to mean "they are mindless for putting mayo on it after I asked for no mayo" but the "some mindless dolt" rubbed me the wrong way.

At the least, they should edit the sentence to ensure there's a "after I asked for none."


I've dealt with many MANY people over the years who order stuff off the menu that never read it and are like "BUT THERE'S MAYO HERE" well yes, but it's ON THE MENU so it's your own fault for not reading.