Us to Mr. Possum’s parents: Neither of us has much time off from work at Thanksgiving. [We ALWAYS travel at Thanksgiving. It sucks donkey balls.] It’s very stressful to work on Wednesday and then drive several hours, only to turn around 24 hours later and drive right home again so we can be at work early on Friday morning. Why don’t you two come to our place for the holiday? [They’re both retired.] [They have never visited us.] [Never.] If you’re not comfortable staying in our small home we’ll be delighted to arrange a lovely hotel or Airbnb for you. [They have more money than God.] What do you think?

Mr. Possum’s parents: Oh no, we’re not doing that. We always celebrate the holidays at home. [So we don’t get that option, eh?] If you don’t come here we’ll make sure to be super passive-aggressive about it and try to make you feel guilty for months to come. [Okay, they didn’t actually say that. They didn’t have to - it’s understood.]

And so it begins.