Having a vagina is kind of... scary sometimes, right? Between these things, I am kind of tired of having a vagina tonight.

1) After having a migraine with aura for the first time, I was told in no uncertain terms to stop oral bc because the risk of stroke was too high. I could get an IUD in a couple of months. I made the decision to risk it (seemed so abstract!) in the interim, because I don't trust condoms enough, and I don't want to abstain. Today, my doctor told me in no uncertain terms that this is a totally idiotic idea and I must stop today. I SOMEHOW DECIDED SEX WAS WORTH AN INCREASED RISK OF STROKE.

2) Researching IUDs. They seem wonderful. But incredibly painful to put in. And the 1/1000 chance things that can result in infertility like uterus perforations are really scary.

3) THAT PREGNANCY HORROR STORY PISSING CONTEST.

I am kind of resentful at hetero men right now, and kind of wish I wasn't the vagina-haver in my relationship. My boyfriend does not have a single thing to do or worry about with regards to procreation and sex. Pregnancy and preventing pregnancy both involve so much risk for women. And so much pain. Wahh.

I know it will all be worth it and all - like yes, a few minutes/days of pain is worth 5 years of contraception (unless something goes horribly wrong). And I still want to get pregnant one day. But sometimes... sometimes I just wish we could share the grown-up decision making and pain and all, y'know?

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*sigh*

I'm not gonna lie, I am seriously considering making him come to my IUD insertion to understand how painful this is, and give me appropriate credit for the lengths I will go to have condom-free baby-free sex. But that would be really out of character for me (I am super accommodating about his feelings allllll the tiiiiime) and doing that out of spite probably isn't a very nice thing to do!

ETA: I do want to add that I am genuinely, deeply enjoying the birth stories in the Pissing Contest. So far all of them end well, which is one heartening thing - to know that things can go that badly, and still end in happy baby/usually healed mom. And some of them are really heart wrenching in a good way. This doesn't make me want to have kids/get pregnant any less, it just gives me more appreciation for how uneven this whole procreation business is!