Oh, I'm sorry, did you have plans for this afternoon? Were you going to work on a project?

Hah. Um, no. There will be more openings in your field today than there have been for the last six months. Commence C.V. updating, and the time-consuming process of Googling who had the job before you (and where are they noooooow?). Note: This is totally normal within my field and kinda sorta important to determine whether the application is one with a shot, or just another use of my afternoon.

Ladies and gents, the states these jobs are even farther from civilization than I am now! And I just got married to someone who's staying here! But that's how my life works! Win a prestigious award? Move in the weeks leading up to the presentation! Get proposed to? GET A JOB INTERVIEW. Get married? Let's move your ass to Zimbabwe, because all of the sudden, you're professionally appealing.

The jokes sound bitter but I don't think I am. This might be excitement, but it's been long enough that I don't really remember how that feels.

GET ALL THE JOBS!

(Your words of encouragement go below.)