Welcome To The Bitchery

Holy shit, BEST Halloween story ever at this house!!!

So, it's dark. Uncle Kim is watching football (why? why football all the time, why on thursdays now???) in the other room and I get a really kinda-late knock on the door. I've already let the dogs in the house, it's close to an all-clear in Halloweenland.

I pick up the puppy, kick the older dog away from the door, finally answer the knock to.. nothing. Except a guy beating-feet away from my door, kind of waving at me like I'm Out, Yo. My impression; DOGS? AND I'M OUT OF HERE, I'LL KILL ELSEWHERE.

I explain to Uncle Kim. He's like "WHUT??? You're nuts" I'm like "I KNOW!!! WTF???" and we get a knock on the door. Cue more "wtf" looks. It's grown ass adults candy begging. Yeah. He gives them Milk Duds after discerning their meth-mouth (um, no judgement) and gets a queer look on his face as he looks upon the porch. I quiver.

Advertisement

Uncle Kim comes in the house with a box of San Francisco Bay Fog Chaser coffee K-cups.

And loses it laughing at me. My scary wtf-your-dogs-scared-me-away-guy? UPS driver. Delivering my excellent coffee for the morning.

Oh... k. Ohhhh, Aunt K.

Share This Story