...and I kinda don’t know what to do with myself.
First, let me say that I’m home alone for a sad reason. Yesterday afternoon my partner in crime (Mr. Kates) got the call that his elderly grandfather, who’s been in the hospital this week with pneumonia, is on his last legs. We bought him a plane ticket for the first flight out of town this morning so that he might be with G-Pa as he departs this earthly plane and support his Dad and brothers, who are very upset. No doubt it is a sad time.
However..... it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a weekend by myself. Mr. Kates and I moved to this new city a while back and don’t know a ton of people here. We spend a LOT of time together, as there’s really no way get out of each other’s hair for longer than the span of a work day. I truly adore him, but it turns out that sharing a 750 sq. ft. apartment with another person can be grating after a while. Plus, for whatever reason, I am the type who realllllly can’t focus on my own shit when someone else is in my space. When others are around, I need to interact with them. Bad habit, but an old family one and hard to break.
So now I find myself with a whole weekend alone for the first time in over 6 months. It feels so weird but also kind of great.
After Mr. Kates left at 6:15 this morning, I immediately got up and started checking things off my “stuff that annoys me but I typically do nothing about” list. I cleaned the steamwand on our espresso maker for the first time in a while, tidied up parts of our living room, and am now productively bubbling away on some work tasks. I called my parents and didn’t feel guilty for being loud and gossippy on the phone with them (which usually I am a little self-conscious about).
I have no idea what I’ll do with the rest of my weekend (any ideas, GT?) but it’s nice to know that I can go for a long walk if I want or watch the crappiest stuff on Netflix or get out my ukulele and work on the songs that have been buzzing in my brain for weeks. I could go outlet shopping or even on a ferry ride to a new island if I felt like it. I plan on eating snack food for dinner - no one will ever know (but you)! I might even rearrange our bedroom furniture or buy a plant!
I feel a little guilty about taking pleasure from a moment in time that is truly very sad for my partner. But on the other hand, seeing the silver lining is not a bad thing, and of course, if I could change what’s going on with G-Pa, I would do so in a heartbeat. Right?
GT, what should I do this weekend? And what are you all up to?