Don't share this, please.

My boyfriend has been in the middle of a manic depressive episode since Monday. This is the first episode since he's been on a mood stabilizer โ€” which means we had about two solid "good" months. He insists he's been taking his medication, so I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. But considering he's been ranting about how much he "hates" therapy and "hates" taking his medication, part of me thinks that maybe he's stopped taking them โ€” especially since I think falling back into "old moods" is part of abruptly stopping psych meds? (Yes? No?)

Anyway, it's putting me in a really sour mood. I don't have anyone to really talk to about this. I actually had a phone call with his psychiatrist this morning because I feel something is going wrong here. Maybe he's on the wrong meds? Maybe the therapy needs to get another approach? Maybe boyfriend isn't being as open with his doctor as he needs to be? Either way, doctor was happy I called and shared some info.

He's pretty negative and feels like everything is beyond hope. Problem is, all the things weighing him down are easily fixable, even if they are stressful. He needs to call his old boss. He needs to register his new truck and buy insurance. He needs to sell one of his motorcycles. All fairly innocuous things that people who aren't battling mental illness would have no issue tackling in a weekend. I see him paralyzed by his illness, and it hurts that he can't see through the fog to understand that taking the time to do these things will alleviate a lot of his current stress and might make the current state more manageable.

I know this is the illness controlling him, but having my usually loving and sweet boyfriend treat me like garbage hurts. He wouldn't tell me he loved me this morning. He yelled at me that I'm "nannying" him and that he just wants space. I do my best to stay calm and be as supportive as possible because I know I can't fix him; only therapy and medication and his own desire to get well can. I'm basically waiting for him to fall out of this depressive episode and get back on track, if that'll even happen.

It sucks, because things had been great recently. We went camping this past weekend and had a blast. :(