Everyone gave me really good advice about what to do about my house. Apparently they were only planning on doing one coat of color (which ???, there was so much bleed through of the primer, no way one coat was sufficient, even if that had been the color I wanted) which meant that there was no more paint that needed tinting. So we went to buy more, much darker paint, and it looks so. Nice now. They still need to do the trims and foundation, but lookit!
It’s pretty much exactly the color I was originally trying to achieve. And it only cost me 900 more dollars than my original estimate :-/
New post, because the old one wouldn’t let me upload photos, grrrrr