For other housespouse GTers - how do you maintain your self if you are often seen as the accessory to your partner?
Maybe my situation is unique, though, so here goes (this is just one example) -
Everyone thinks I like board games. I. Hate. Them. But they are Beau’s all time favorite thing. He is never happier than when he is playing some strategy game. We must own 100. He goes to board game events and cons. And more power to him! I’m glad he has an interest that he loves. But the universal opinion is that Beau loves games, and therefore, so do I. Social events, board games. Family time, board games. Every damn time we spend time with people, board games.
I like art. I like fashion, music, theatre. I like intimate discussions about sex and politics. I like cooking fancy food. And I am developing friendships which include those things. But I really do believe that there’s this force, perhaps a force rooted in gender stuff (I am the lady, Beau is The Man; art is seen as feminine, strangely as masculine) that sweeps away any notion that I have equally valid interests.
So what do I do? How can I insist on being myself? I do think there’s more at play - I am a housewife partially due to mental illness and maybe people don’t know how to deal with that. But I often feel like the only times I can be myself are when I’m alone, and then I freak out when I have to spend time with other people. Ugh, I am just overwhelmed.