Has everyone seen the trailer for the new Matt Damon white savior movie, The Great Wall? Where he leads a few mercenaries and maybe Willem Dafoe to help the Chinese fight off attacking hordes of dragons? YES THIS IS A THING THAT EXISTS.

1. Apparently even after being in the Martian, he’s still oblivious to the concept of whitewashing. [ETA: TamTams clarified that I did not understand the definition of whitewashing, so I take this back. :) ] I mean I knew Kevin Costner had a white savior complex, but apparently Damon does, too.

2. I realize it’s a fantasy. But come the fuck on. It’s set during the Song Dynasty. China was more advanced than Europe during this time. They used gunpowder and had a more massive Navy than anything Spain or Britain ever came up with. To buy that this elite Chinese force would need or accept help from a few Europeans makes no sense.

3. The promo poster “what were they trying to keep out” — umm, marauding groups from the north? Were the Romans trying to keep dragons out with Hadrian’s wall, too?

4. My (limited) understanding is that Chinese dragons weren’t the fire-breathing monsters that European dragons. Like they are symbols of culture, knowledge, and prosperity. So why would they be attacking? You would have better luck having Yeti attack.

Here’s a nice article from the Guardian where Matt Damon sounds defensive! The trailer is linked in the article, too.