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I started seeing a therapist a little over a year ago, for depression/anxiety directly related to my infertility. She was great - she really is, and I adore her. She has helped me so much.

But she told me about a month ago that she was pregnant. I was in the middle of my first cycle of IVF, so I was happy for her but like, not, because I'm sort of petty and jealous when it comes to this stuff. (Understandably, I think. All things considered.)

And she told me if I didn't want to see her any longer, she understood. She offered to help me find a different therapist, if that's what I needed. I told her that we should just leave it alone for now, because if I got pregnant this time, then I probably wasn't going to care.


Well. I didn't. Thanks, body, for letting me down AGAIN. And I feel terrible, but I just can't see her again. This hurts so much more than every other time, because this was so much more intensive a process than previous attempts. There was so much more riding on this time.

I found another therapy place through my insurance website, and the intake lady has it narrowed down to 2 that she thinks will be able to help me, just wants to verify that one of them actually has handled infertility stuff before, since that one seems to be slightly better for me, schedule-wise.

What do I do about the original one? Do I call and just cancel my next appointment and ghost? Will she be worried about me or will she get it? Do I have to explain myself? Should I keep my appointment for next week and tell her in person? I'm a coward. I don't want to have to pay $25 to drive to her office and tell her that I just can't do this with her anymore. But maybe I should?

What about like, my records? Does the new place need them, or does it not really matter? I've never done this part before.

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