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How Do You Get a Doctor to Listen to You?

I haven't been to the doctor for anything other than emergency care in a while. A long long while. But I have an actual check-up appointment this week. I'm concerned about how to present all the stuff I've been wondering about/experiencing in a way that will make a doctor listen. Especially because my sibling recently went to the doctor and every symptom she mentioned was pooh poohed by the doctor saying "Well, it's because you're fat." Now obviously that doc was an unhelpful asshole - and the one I picked gets all sort of good recommendations so I don't think that will happen to me (even though I am fat too). But some of my stuff is sort of amorphic...like ummm it just feels wrong and weird and abnormal for me. I don't know if a doctor will even give credence to something so vague.

Part of my problem is that I have a tendency to minimize/joke everything away. So when I giggle about feeling like there is something growing in my stomach a doc might not take it seriously*. I'm just giggling because part of me keeps wanting to yell IT'S NOT A TUMOR! Another part of me is rolling my eyes and being like malingerer! hypochondriac! stop wasting the doc's time with stupid shit.

Any suggestions? Also is there a limit of stuff I should put on a list? Like will a doctor tune out after 4 or 5 questions so should I prioritize my concerns?


*I'm pretty sure it isn't serious, but again, it feels weird. Who knows, maybe I'm germinating an alien.

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