Hivemind, I summon you!



So, there is party in Ann Arbor called The Bang. It is preeeety cool, in the sense that they play rock and roll and classic songs, all of them in a very dancy mood. It takes place once a month and it is a lot of fun.

Every edition has a theme, and people are encouraged to dress up, just because it makes the environment cooler. I used to just go, but I recently I decided to dress up, and indeed it is much better!
The theme this month is booty, as in piracy, but you are allowed to seize the double entendre if you want (there is a lot of that; it is actually kinda hard to invite someone to The Bang without yelling the article).
So I need ideas for a pirate costume. I feel everything online is Jack Sparrow these days. I have pierced years (yep, angsty metalhead teenagehood), so I'm borrowing golden hoops from a friend. She demanded that I wear eyeliner in order to lend me the earrings, so that is also in.

But what else? Do pirates have funny beards? Every entry on google has either a goatee or a badass lumberjack beard, which I wouldn't have time to grow. I would go for some ugly shit, but you can't just simulate scurvy like that.

So hivemind, this is my request. As a sacrifice for your omnisciency, here's a baby sloth giving out a flower: