So earlier this evening, I hung up on ASiL, when she was utterly inappropriate:

If you missed it, you can read about it here.

Anyways, about a 1/2 hour later, just as we were about to go out the door to meet with some friends, ABiL texted Mr. Ivriniel saying:

"ASiL is on the verge of cancelling all Christmas events unless someone explains to her what is going on."

Mr. I just sighed and turned off his phone.

I dont understand the threat. presumably I am the one she is upset with. Why is she talking about cancelling visits to my FiL's house, and my OSiL's house?

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OSiL says that ASiL is perfectly free to opt out of Christmas events. But if she insists on ABiL and the niece not attending as well, then all kinds of shit is going to hit the fan. I can't see ABiL coming without ASiL, so everybody better put on a rain slicker.

I am avoiding checking my email at the moment, because I imagine ASiL has emailed me.

If so I plan to reply in the morning, but I think it will go something along the lines of:

Mr. Ivriniel's drinking problem is just that, his own problem. Only he can deal with it. He does not need a group of people sitting around making sure he doesn't drink. He has to find it within himself not to drink. Paternalisticly monitoring the drinking of a person with a drinking problem who is not reached the place where they are ready to confront their own drinking problem is a sure fire way to turn them into a sneakier drunk.

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Oh, and by the way, Mr. I is confronting his drinking problem. Not that you would know, because you haven't asked. You don't known anything about his problem, other than the fact that he has one. You don't know what his triggers are, or what treatment he might be undergoing. You made the call with the very specific agenda of dealing with YOUR concerns. You tried to make it all about you and what would make you feel better. You didn't ask what Mr. I needs.

Mr. I knows how important Christmas Eve is to his Dad, and would chew off his appendages before missing it. He also knows how important his own recovery is to him, and therefore he will be choosing not to drink while there. He does not need a babysitter.