The trick is to have the last day of your family reunion be super stressful, after drinking and dredging up a bunch of insanely dysfunctional family issues. Then, come home and see your boyfriend of 6 years, who has been out of town for 2 months, decide that he's just too messed up to be in a relationship at the moment and break up with you. Note that you've basically been supporting him financially and emotionally for a few years, and are super happy that he's finally getting out of his clinical depression and has been so much better the past 6 months, only to find that "better" apparently means he needs to be alone, even though he's telling you you're amazing and the best person they know. Now you're apartment hunting and you don't even want to. NOW make sure that your grandfather has a stroke and is in the hospital, where you then learn that he's been hiding the fact that your grandmother has been almost completely senile for the past year because he thought he could just take care of her himself. Now, if you weren't completely done yet, revisit more dysfunctional family issues because you haven't talked to your parents in 10 years, but need to tell them about their parents who are very sick and need help, but who they haven't talked to in 15 years.

Please, just send over anything that is interesting or distracting as work is far too slow today and that I can look at when I start feeling feelings and need to not tear up at, you know, my job.