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Welcome To The Bitchery

So I have a co-worker in my small division (8 people), but different physical office (next door at least) than me. He’s a really nice guy, and obviously the 8 of us are all friendly. I’ll just add right now that he’s pretty nerdy and socially awkward and has a physical disability. A few of us went out for his birthday a few months ago, and he mentioned that he would like to do more social activities but doesn’t know a lot of people in the area. I met up with him at an art museum one afternoon a few months ago. Since then, he’s proposed multiple other outings. He sends me FB messages anytime I’m on FB and he notices (I usually don’t respond.) He texts me sometimes random things (and I don’t respond). I had agreed two months ago to go to a concert with him Friday night. It was fun, but he’s obviously reading more into this than friendship. He called me today (I was on a run) and left a long voicemail about how he hoped he didn’t come off as upset because he’d had a hard day at work, but he had a wonderful time and wanted to know if I would go for a stroll with him or get tea, or he would be happy to be my date at a work reception that I have to go to this week, etc.

Now obviously that is more than a friendly work colleague behavior. My question is what do I do? Do I just ignore his invitations and kind of blow him off in the future, hoping that he gets the hint, or do I address this directly? If so, what do I say? The problem is, again, that he’s in my very small division and I see him almost every day, and my other co-workers are obviously all friendly with him, but they’re also all married/engaged or male. I don’t want to have to get management involved, but this is starting to make me feel uncomfortable.


Also, guy that I’ve been dating continually “goes off the radar” for two weeks at a time. I really like him, but I can’t condone this behavior. He’s back now after no communication for over two weeks and wants to hang out. I think I’m going to meet with him and just tell him that although I enjoy our time, I can’t really be with someone who ghosts out for weeks at a time.

Sigh, men.

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