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How to get women to vote GOP? Set up a dating service!

Illustration for article titled How to get women to vote GOP? Set up a dating service!

The demonically re-animated bag of garbage named Rush Limbaugh has been at it again. I mean, who doesn't love his logical and measured arguments? This time he turned his sights on those wily strumpets, single women!


Did you know that single women only vote for Democrats because with no strong men in their lives, they must depend on the government to give them things? If only they would just get MARRIED already!

They're unmarried. How many of them is it simply a matter of economics? There's no second income in their house, and the government will readily and Democrats will readily assume that role for 'em. With benefits here, benefits there, benefits over here … if somebody willingly makes themselves a victim, then that's tough to counter.


He goes on to say that unmarried women are angry, resentful and jealous. Why won't we just find husbands and become good little wives? We're just too silly to know what's good for us!

Thankfully, good ol' Rush knows just how to turn us evil single slatterns into good Republican ladies.

The Republican Party would be well advised to set up a dating service and to embark on a policy of arranging dates for as many unmarried women as possible.


Foolproof plan. I mean, I don't know about YOU, but I'm much too busy with burning my bra and haranguing pregnant women to have abortions to even THINK about dating.

The GOP seems to be ahead of Rush on this one, since they clued in to how much women LOVE weddings and dresses.


With such incredible forward thinking and understanding outreach to women, the GOP is sure to win any future election by a landslide.

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