Hugo Schwyzer continued his goodbye tour with a disgusting retelling of the story of his attempt to murder his girlfriend fifteen years ago. It’s a slobbering, pornographic, lurid Hugo lovefest that does everything it can to absolve him while simultaneously deifying him for being so noble as to take responsibility. He talks about the “attempted murderer meme” that sprung from his original story (note to Hugo: Willy Wonka pictures with witty repartees are memes; you actually attempted to murder someone). I wish I could post another spirited takedown of the entire thing, but right now I’m feeling a gripping sadness while thinking about this whole thing, and it’s really sapping my energy to write.

He completely outs his victim. To clarify: Hugo Schwyzer attempted to kill this woman, is writing an article glorifying himself and this attempted murder, and is OUTING HIS VICTIM. Yes, he changes her name, but there’s more than enough identifying information that any intrepid reader would easily be able to find her.

He also admits to multiple affairs, then admits to sexting a woman by linking to her blogpost about how her boyfriend broke into her phone and posted the texts without her permission. He not only violates women, he does it intentionally and without shame, except when he thinks it will make him a profit.

I can’t even do a full post about this. I’m too angry and sad. I hope Jezebel will address this and offer an apology, or an explanation, or something. But it probably wouldn’t get enough pageviews, so I’m not counting on it.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go yell for about eighteen days.

UPDATE: Hugo Schwyzer attempted suicide last night, then called LA Weekly today to tell them about it. Dude needs to go away and get some serious help.