Tw weight issues, postpartum....

Scene: artsy, order at counter cafe type place

Characters: me, Mr. Carbs, baby Carbs, and some random dude

Random Dude (cafe employee): number 72? Here are you sandwiches!

Me, Mr. Carbs: (digging into said sandwiches) thanks!

Dude: oh, she is so cute! And I see you are going all in, getting it over with (gestures to my stomach)

Me: .... (smiling awkwardly)

Mr. Carbs:.......

Dude: my girls are five years apart, they barely acknowledged one another when they we’re little, having them close together is nice

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Me: (staring at him nodding, realizing he thinks im pregnant)...... giggles awkwardly

Mr. Carbs: (staring at me, not sure what to do).....

Dude: okay enjoy,!

Me: (dies, slowly eats sandwich full of self hate and eyes full of tears)

The End.

Humiliation Part Two

Characters: me, driver

Scene: A week later, outside my local market basket. The wind is blowing ferociously, I have a cart full of groceries. There’s a nor’easter here. Suddenly, a gust of wind flies open my notebook I use for lists, stuff goes everywhere. I’m crossing to the parking lot, but stop short, very flustered, thereby causing a driver a minor inconvenience.

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Driver: beeps aggressively

Me: (flustered movements)

Driver: (rolls down window, angry)

Me: sorry! Things were flying away!

Driver: you can’t fly away! You’re a biiiiiiigg woman.

Me: what the fuck?

Driver: (speeds away)

Me: (dies.)

The End.

Fuck my life.