AKA How many red flags does a job need to have for you to decline it? (Wow this got a bit long and rambly. Sorry)
I've been temping at this office. And they are still interviewing people for this job - but they also seem to be thinking of offering me the job. Which would be bad. Because it would be a steady full time decent paying job which is what I've said for months is what I want. And I don't have any other options on the table except my current scrabble around picking up work piecemeal.
This place is terrible though. The head guy is a giant douchebag dick. He sets tests for everyone (me too) and they all have traps included, so whichever way you do the task is going to be wrong. And then he eviscerates you. Like dude, sorry I couldn't read your fucking mind. He is one of those "rules only apply to the little people" guys so things like smoking in the office are done with abandon. Everyone in the office is affected by this attitude. So they are alternately terrible (to underlings like me, of course) or mice waiting for the hammer to fall. So everyone is on eggshells at all times. No one is friendly in the office, it's like they're all lemmings on a break from jumping off a cliff so everyone ignores everyone else. And the job I could be hired for? Boring. as. fuck. No challenge, no possibility of advancement, and certainly no respect would ever be granted to me by anyone there.
But it would be a steady job with a steady paycheck. So my jerkbrain is twisting itself into pretzels trying to ignore all the red flags. I have weird twitches already just from temping, but my jerkbrain continues to insist that if I was a real adult I would suck it up and take the job. I am really disliking my jerkbrain today. I'm pretty sure that this job would be a terrible terrible idea, and that taking something just for the money (and it isn't even that much money - certainly not an amount that takes into consideration the total ick factor of this place) is a good idea.
If I don't take it there are people in my life who won't understand. And certainly my jerkbrain would give me shit. But I feel like if I took this job I'd be telling myself that I'm not worth having a non soul destroying job at a place where people might be nice.* Not too long ago I would just have assumed that I don't deserve any better, but I do damnit. Who would of thought better mental health would create such a quandary?
* No job is perfect, and I know that. But I deserve to work somewhere that doesn't make me want to vomit on an hourly basis.