Albert Burneko (who writes most of the Foodspin articles on Deadspin, and who is a hilarious and excellent no-nonsense cook and writer) made a post calling for everyone's stories of kitchen injuries. The results are horrifying. Seriously, don't click that link if you're at all sensitive. There is a lot of blood and burns and missing finger parts, lovingly photographed.

However, it gave Albert the excuse to break out many wonderful vomiting, fainting and freaking out gifs in the comments, my favorite of which is this excellent example of the art form:

Look at Peter and Bert dance!

Really, that gif is the sole reason I made this post. Enjoy!