The first half of today is going to be extraordinarily busy and stressful. I still have so much to do and so little time. I can't even enjoy the anticipation of knowing I'm getting gifts tonight. I haven't really been able to enjoy any part of Christmas yet, and this is my favorite holiday. I've been in a store every day this month, trying to get my shit together. I haven't even procrastinated! I don't understand why I'm behind when I've worked every day to get gifts together and wrapped.

I've been so stressed out. I am a huuuuge introvert and absolutely need time alone to recharge. I have not had one day of very needed solitude at all this month. I'm exhausted. On top of that I work as a waitress so I'm constantly talking to people, all day, every day. Plus the shopping. Plus an expensive trip to the clinic, for a medical issue I'm not even sure is gone yet. Plus I'm an insomniac. It all stacks into one pile of suck, and it's leaving me so drained.

And on top of all this, I've been resenting Mr. Agador Spartacus, because even though he's working, he's the one that needs cuddles and to be told that everything's going to be okay. I'm drowning over here, and yet he wants to be comforted. I've made it very clear that I'm exhausted and strung out, and he's done little to help me out. I went shopping for him yesterday for god's sake. And when I came home he was napping on the couch because he had a headache from work. And we had a half an hour to whip our apartment into shape because we had guests coming over. Guess who was the one who had to clean everything. Yeah. I'm not happy.

All I want for Christmas is one fucking day of rest, please.