I just realized, four hours after the fact, that I put my bra on wrong this morning. How do you put a bra on wrong, one might ask? It's a relatively simple contraption, the bra. There are arm holes (for your arms), and boob cups (for your boobs). Even the hook mechanism is not what you would call complex. How did I fuck that up? And how did it take me 4 hours to realize it?? It takes a special kind of lollipop.

My only consolation is that my coworker is also a DumDum. She just called facilities management to switch out a lightbulb. Facilities management came all the way up to her floor to help her troubleshoot the light switch. Up, apparently, means On.

Please tell me there are others of our kind out there.