Birthday Party Host!
I mean, why would I not? I didn't know that position effing existed! It's only part-time, but who the hell cares? It's at the Children's Museum, and this is the description:
Birthday Party Hosts
Part-time to provide special programming and worthwhile experiences with visitors while in attendance at a birthday party. Host facilitates educative and creative experiences with general visitors, primarily birthday party attendees. While interacting positively with visitors, hosts engage them in museum and party experiences such as creating art and/or projects. Hosts guide visitors’ party activities and encourage participation. Hosts ensure party area is a safe, tidy, inviting to play and fun place to visit. Hosts treat visitors with respect and friendly and courteous communication. Customer service and experience with children preferred.
Read: Party Hats. Part-time Party Hat Wearer (is what my business cards will read). What does one put in one's cover letter to lock down this position? I am honestly applying. This is not a joke.