Fuck this period, man.

The worst thing is that I'm not even getting cramps. It's like a constant feeling of mild discomfort that doesn't go away. It's sort of like needing to fart all the time, except without the cathartic farting.

(Cafarting? Farthartic?)

No, it's just... ugh. Ugh is how I feel.

I'm just hungry enough to want to eat, and then I immediately feel gross and stuffed when I finally have something. Chocolate tastes like mud. Kate Beaton comics are only mildly amusing.


I'm breaking out in a combination of zits and hives.

My stomach sounds like a cartoon laboratory.

This blows.

How do I do this every goddamn month? What kind of vengeful god would create such a system? This can't be efficient.


Periods are horse shit.

Uterus, you're on notice.

Also I actually have to fart as well, which provides false and quickly unrealized hope and potential.


These are my thoughts, this Tuesday evening.

If anyone has remedies, commiserations, objections on the basis of taste and moral outrage or gifs they'd like to provide, all will be welcome.


UPDATE: I have removed my pants.