Unless you are family, or have read Emily Post, or are too drunk to make it home safe-don't bother to knock on my door. Skip to the bottom if you don't want to read anything-but it feels good to finally vent!

The Guest Who Is Not Welcome Back, A Chronology:

  1. It begins: My 'friend'-the same girl that bitched me out for not being 'mean' enough two years ago at a very fancy dinner, but is a nice person overall-told me last Thursday she would be in town. Nice! Except...she didn't book a hotel room (She has the money to do that...) and needs to stay with me even though she knew I'm frantically trying to get my shit together. Uh, sure. You've been there for me, I guess. I'm over her bitching me out two years ago...I guess I'm too nice.
  2. Friday, Last Week: I had maids in to clean the entire place that day because someone who was viewing my current place was to stop by that week (They just put in their deposit! I DON'T HAVE TO PAY MONEY!) As I am the perfect hostess, I hid all the boxes I packed on Thursday-then made the area comfortable for my 'friend' to crash. She was to get in at 10 pm.
  3. Friday, 10 pm: Flight delayed. Fine by me.
  4. Saturday, 1 am: Lost her bag. Understandable.
  5. Saturday, 2 am: Arrives, seems out of it. Bet the kid just needs to rest. Lent her some clothes.
  6. Saturday, 3:30 am: I woke up with a start. I don't know how long she planned on staying. She never made it clear.
  7. Saturday, 3:31 am: Well, can't be that bad...

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Sun comes up.

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  1. Saturday, 6:00 pm: Woke up to her yelling at someone on the phone in the other room.
  2. Saturday, 6:15 am: Offer her coffee. She tells me the house sitter wants more money for reasons she never makes clear. Says she will fire said house sitter. Transitions into a theory about something.
  3. Saturday, 6:25 am: Claims to have a headache. Wants to drive to store. Store is a two minute walk away.
  4. Saturday, 6: 30 am - 1:15 pm: Buys coffee for me (Yay!). But acts really strange.

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Time is a flat circle. The following is a big pain.

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I'll just break it down:

  • Wants to walk around in very loud areas. With the headache.
  • Wants to hear about my life.
  • I tell her how long I've been sober-and she tells me about how much she drank last week (More than I ever have on a binge, and kinda sorta really ticked me off-I guess it 'triggered' me?).
  • I ask her if she wants to take a nap. She insists on staying in loud area. She is still complaining about being ill.
  • I suggest a soda if she is still feeling unwell. We go to three different stores. She finds some (THAT WAS IN EVERY STORE, AT THE SAME PRICE) and doesn't want it at the last minute.

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I know I sound very complain-y at this point, but I pride myself on being a good hostess-I was just trying to make her feel like she was welcome. I did not say anything mean to her. Just went with it.

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  • She brings up the fact that she had two drinks on the plane and 'Some pills...maybe too many...with the drinks...the strong pills...' She said this gleefully.
  • Suddenly, she's 'All better'...
  • Her: "DO YOU WANT FOOD I KNOW THIS GREAT PLACE 15 MINUTES AWAY LETS TAKE MY DOUBLE PARKED CAR AND DRIVE THERE!"
  • I decline. I have food. I want to go home.
  • She drops me off, even though I was ok with walking the two minutes it would take to get back.

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I called my mommy and daddy who knew about the 'too nice' incident. They told me to tell her to GTFO. But she was MIA for two hours.

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Resolution:

  • She decided to take a last minute road trip. Oh, and she never told her boss she was going out of town...not my problem, but, REALLY?

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In my opinion, I was very accommodating. I put up with this, but was super uncomfortable. The last minute imposition, the weird behavior (Especially bringing up her drinking binges happily after telling her about my sobriety...maybe I'm too sensitive?), and, well, the manipulation I guess. She played on the fact that I'm...

...too nice.

Cutting this person out of my life for good.

No more guests. Except my super cool cousin.