I was almost about to panic. I'm almost a week late and I'm NEVER late. But I feel like sex fucks with my body because every time I happen to get some, my period is late that month.
Anyway, I was about to call the guy and inform him of his possible impending fatherhood, but I decided to employ my patented method of "don't think about it ever, at all, otherwise you will worry and your period will take extra long to appear", and it WORKED! We used a condom and he lasted for like 10 seconds, so I figured the odds HAD to be in my favour.
NO BABIES FOR ME!
ETA: Forgot to mention this, but it is extra super special that I am not pregnant because abortions (which I would most definitely have been getting) are completely illegal where I am. I mean, "there are ways...." obviously, (DNCs I think) but they're expensive, and I'm broke so I'd have to tell someone and ask for help. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.
I would insert some gifs but I don't know how, so instead I will link to this happy dance gif parade.
PS. It just occurred to me that this might be a tad insensitive to people who DO want to be pregnant, so I'm sorry. But I'm 23, currently jobless, and living with my mom, so pregnancy is just not for me right now.