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I have three kids fairly close age-wise, so even thinking about anything other than a huge-ass SUV has been out of the question. But we're going Saturday to test-drive something just a leeeeetle bit cooler. (In Momworld anything other than a bigass SUV is "cooler" - yes, even 4door sedans.)


So, since we literally* live in Bumblefuck, TX, pop 1533, we're going to combine my birthday**/Mother's Day/TWENTY MOTHERFUCKING THIRD wedding anniversary and stay at a hotel I fucking LURVE (omg, settle down with the caps, VodkaGirl), the Omni Forth Worth, chill at the T&P Tavern, lunch at Pappadeaux and try to decide between a (used) Mercedes/Audi/BMW.

I seriously don't even GAF about the car anymore, because OmniPappadeauxT&P.

Sooooooo, this is like partially a travel blog entry (for drunk people). If you ever find yourself traveling through the DFW area, check out the Omni. It's the best. It's fancy-schmancy as fuck but the staff kills it in making you feel comfortable. (We rolled in the last time after an epic cross-country road trip just bone deep tired from driving all day, looking like the Bumpuss's from A Christmas Story and frankly, there's no way we "belonged." The staff was like "YUP! You're finally here, we were waiting SO LONG FOR YOU!" Amazing.) You'll pay for an upgrade for a city view, but it's like a $15 upgrade and really much better than looking at the highway, I promise.


Also, head down to the portico area if you need to smoke or just feel like doing some amazing and random people watching. But first, make yourself a drink and bring it on down. (Then send your 20 yo daughter back to the room for more vodka in your glasses, take a phone call when she realizes you have no mixers, and just cruise on into the Whiskey & Rye for a bar setup. Oh, well, mix that up however you need to, but know that no one in the entire joint bats an eye, even if it's 2 in the morning. Especially, I guess.)

The people watching was actually amazing for us. I got to yell at a dude-bro (HEY, YELLOW SHORTS? Knock it OFF!), share smokes with some folks less fortunate than us, and find out that one of my favorite MLB players is now focusing on music and surfing in Costa Rica, and has an ex from AR who is SUPER sweet and SUPER Aunt-K-approved in the "hot mess" department when she's out with the girls. Her girls? Not so cool. They just ditched her with us, but I guess we looked trustworthy.


So that brings me to Pappadeaux's. This is interior Texas' answer to perfect seafood and ice cold, perfectly (inexplicably fresh) oysters on the half shell. And SOFTSHELL CRAB. I am so excited I can't stand it. I was raised in the Mid-Atlantic coast region, plus Florida, plus New England. So being back in my landlocked west TX home... You can't imagine the things I miss. And Pappadeaux's is 3 1/2 hours away...

Illustration for article titled I am SO excited! I must ramble!

T & P Tavern looks so badass - it's in an old train depot and I can't wait to report back to y'all.


eta: crap, forgot my *, so..

*OK, shut up, but it's close. Seriously


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