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I am so selfish

I lost my job last week. Straight up fired, escorted from the building "this is the hardest part of my job is to let people like you go" fired. The why is unimportant now, but the fact is- it happened, done deal.

I need to go by DoL and sign up for some unemployment- because I have had a job more or less steadily for 18 years with the exception of some when I was in school. So, I feel justified in using benefits now that I need them. The Boy_Heathen is still employed and I know I should be waking up every morning and diligently up-dating my resume, and filling out applications and networking and calling and generally being a responsible adult who is mortified about being unemployed.... but I just want to sort of not right now.


Not for long, like maybe two weeks before I really kick it into gear. We have some savings and no debts to speak of(rent, utilities but no credit card balances and both cars are in the clear) and he spent all of 2013 unemployed and we made it just fine (tight, but fed and with power) on one salary and I just really want to take a break and watch House of Cards ( I literally just started season one because I am behind on everything from working 6o hour work weeks.and also, damn. I know it's going to happen but I am going to feel just betrayed if Frank sleeps with Zoe) I want to knit and think about stuff and maybe not think for a week or so. Like an enforced vacation. So far I have taken like three days, but then I worry that when I do decide to pick myself up and brush myself off and get back to it I will be shit out of luck and the entire financial burden will come to rest on B_H's shoulders and I feel so fucking selfish and useless about it.

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