Saw my general doctor for this silly cramp situation today. I am still not dying.
He felt around, ruled out my appendix and any intestinal issues. I told him my gyno saw some fluid on the ultrasound, so he seconded the diagnosis that I had a cyst burst. When I told him that the pain feels like it's spreading to my lower back and right thigh, he told me that it's most likely unrelated. And that it looks like I have a pinched nerve in my lower back on the right side which would lead to that lovely tingly feeling in my right thigh. When I asked what to do, he was like "stretch." Gave me a script for Mobic and told me to do some stretches and take a hot bath.
Took blood and urine just to make sure everything is in working order, and did an ultrasound of my legs to check for clots (nothing came up).
So basically I gotta start stretching and working out because my body is just getting fucking achy and can't handle my shit anymore.