America does not have a monopoly on culinary WTF-ery. Behold, the Doughnut BLT. It came in a twin pack with a Chicken BBQ one. For the brave, these were found in the reduced section of Morrisons.

I shouldn't even be eating bread, but this was for Science.

The doughnut was crisp, though the oil oozed out over my fingertips. I was surprised to find the whole thing was not overly sweet. The lettuce was pretending it didn't exist, and the tomato offered little resistance. The bacon was the sweet, smoke flavoured cardboard familiar to any connoisseur of petrol-station lunches. So overall, no worse than its siblings in the prepacked sandwich family.

But afterwards?

That little lead cannonball sat in my stomach for what felt like hours. I'm pretty sure it grew. I could never quite forget that I had eaten it, even when I did wash my hands and brush the clag from my teeth.


But there don't seem to be any lasting ill effects. So far. And I bet this isn't the worst thing out there by a long shot.