Hello all. As FreeSample has noted, I've been absent : (

My last post was happy and excited. This one? Won't be. Trigger warnings in advance.

I'm not doing well. I'm fairly certain I have an alcohol problem, seeing as I've been drunk more than once since my hospital visit. I just can't see a point in being sober anymore. Drinking is a balm, that I don't know how to let go of (I'm drinking right now). I'm also not totally ready to stop drinking, because I'm not sure I'm ready to admit I need help.

I'm alone, and the 'possible boy' went no where. He's the best friend of my roommate's fiancé and I'm pretty sure he was warned to not get involved with me. I'm also did a dumb thing and snapchatted multiple pictures of my breasts to one of the women at my job. She's expressed interest in me before, and for some reason I thought it a good idea. I've been in one lesbian relationship before, not a real relationship as it was just sex, but she's looking for more than I know how to give. I don't know how to explain that, or relay that without hurting her.

I'm spiraling, and as FreeSample suggested, I'm putting my general area out there because I need help. I'm in Pennsylvania, Allentown area. I'm reaching out for therapy help or whatever else because frankly, I don't know what else to do. I'm drowning in problems and not sure what to do next. I'm sorry for being the Debbie Downer tonight, but I need ya'll right now.