I could use some advice.

About my Dad, that is. Here's a Cobra for your trouble.

My Dad and I are what you could call estranged. We haven't actually seen each other in years, and we live in the same city. I have talked to him by phone this year, but it was only because he needed some info from me for his insurance. It was perfectly cordial, we just didn't go much further.

Thing is, it's not like we had a falling out with each other or an argument or something. We just don't talk. My dad has always had a streak of hermit in him. If he was alive 150 years ago, he'd probably have been a mountain man. He's very quiet and introverted. He and my mother got divorced when I was eight and he never remarried, or as far as I know even went on another date again. He worked long hours for an aerospace company for well over 30 years and just retired. My mom had custody of my older sister and me, but we visited often.

When I was younger (before I was a teenager), we were closer. I never shared his love of HAM radio, but we liked computers and would watch sports together, and he was pretty good at video games too. I would go camping with him a lot. I never got the fishing or hunting gene, though, so it had to be annoying trying to fish with two bored kids in tow. After high school, I even lived with him for a while. It was a weird vibe, though; like two complete strangers living in the same building.

I've felt like I've had a void in my life for a long time without him being around. I really would like us to be closer, but it feels like there's a huge chasm between us and I don't really know how to bridge it. Because of his phone call to me earlier, I now have his email address. I want to send him a quick message to let him know I'm interested in getting together, but then there's the other issue; I've never told him I'm gay.


I don't have any reason to believe he's religious or has anything against gays, but I don't know how he'll react at all. We were never religious on either side of our immediate family, but I know his brother is now very religious. I know they've been a lot closer now than in the past, too. Everyone else in my family, even my black-belt Catholic aunt, has been welcoming to me. I'm hoping my luck will hold.

Here's my dilemma: is it wrong to tell him via email? I want to just send him a quick note to tell him I'm interested in getting in touch with him again, but include the fact that I'm gay because if he's going to be in my life he's going to end up meeting my partner.

If he says he never wants to see me again, I'd be hurt and very sad, but at least there'd be closure. I have a strong support network. It's more important to me that I make the attempt.