Remember when I wrote a post yesterday about how my grandma made an unnecessary comments about my small breast size yesterday? Well, she made an unnecessary comment about something else on my body earlier tonight, and although I've been trying to not let it get to me, it's gotten to me.
She made a comment about my nose. Now, I got a nose job when I was 19. I've actually wanted to make a post about the cultural phenomenon of Iranian women (like me) getting nose jobs over the past few decades and my subsequent experience with rhinoplasty. When I got my nose job, I did it for many reasons, and I will say that it wasn't just because *I* wanted to. But I won't get into that at all. Like I said, there's a post I've been wanting to write about that talks about this.
Anyway, I was amendment on having the most natural-looking nose job that I could get. I told my plastic surgeon that I simply wanted my bump removed and not much else done (no slope, no narrowed tip, etc.) because I didn't want to look like a different person. I wanted to look like me, just with a more proportionate nose to my small face.
Well, my grandma made a comment today asking why I didn't have my tip pushed up a little. You know, like a bit of an upward slant. In Iran, it's popular for women to do that, narrow their bridge, and make their nose as small as possible. But to me, that's unnatural. That's NOT what I wanted.
So yeah, that comment? Fucking fuck that. I'm still bothered by it. Thankfully, my mom had my back and started going on a rant. And my grandma was all, "Oh, you're right, you're right. Everyone else's looks too fake!" Okay grandma, except you wouldn't have made that comment if you didn't somehow think that that was the ideal look.
Anyway, I'm upset, you guys. It's been day 3 since she's been here, and I'm already like UGH, go away. But not really, because she is the only grandparent I've ever had (the other 3 died before I was born). I don't know...I don't feel good right now, to be honest. I actually kinda want to cry a bit :\ This is a really sensitive topic to me, and I'm really fucking sensitive about talking about my nose or my rhinoplasty. I just. Ugh. I haz a sad :( I feel like my self-esteem is really wavering right now, but I'm trying to power through this moment.
ETA: Uh, not that this would ever be mainpaged, but because I'm paranoid about this topic, please—no mainpaging at all!